‘The Num-8-ers Station’

Guns! Explosions! Num8ers!

I haven’t even watched the trailer yet, so let me guess what The Num-8-ers Station is all about based solely on the poster and the stupid name. John Cusack holds a gun up to his face. The gun appears to be held by tiny little dis-embodied hands as he peers around a corner with a look of annoyance at the explosion happening in the distance. Why are you so annoyed, tiny-handed Cusack? It’s clear that he means to shoot-to-kill that explosion! Malin Åkerman also stands by something, a tree maybe, with a look of boredom. Also, half her face has been too Photoshopped and she looks weird because of it. She clearly isn’t planning to shoot any explosions on account of her not having tiny hands holding her gun to her face. If you notice, there are also numbers, or num8ers, floating around the bottom left of the poster. What does this mean? Did the numbers cause the explosion? Are these the same entities that Cusack wants to shoot with his gun-laden tiny, dis-embodied hands? Is the tagline supposed to be all wobbly? Is that something that was done on purpose? Did the num8ers, or the explosion caused by the num8ers, cause the wobbly look of the lett8rs? Will we ever know why the num8ers caused the explosion that caused the code to be compromised? I suppose we’ll find out come April 26th when this marvel of cinematic artistry comes out in all it’s blue & orange glory!

Now I’ll actually watch the trailer and see how accurate I was about the num8ers causing explosions that tiny-handed Cusack must stop!

Yep, looks about as stupid as I thought. Although they did use not only the orange and blue but also the lesser used, but equally complimentary, color schemes of red and green! There’s no end to what the num8ers will go to get a list of men killed that will make the “world a different place when you wake up” if it goes out.

Damn num8ers!