It’s always a good idea when starting out a trailer to use easy-to-follow words like: The Ocean and Vast and then to follow those simple words with ‘From Hasbro, the company that brought you Transformers’. It’s always, always, always a good idea to point out that the basis for your 2 hour long movie is a board game where you take turns trying to sink battleships with little red toy pegs. Always.

I remember the first trailer made it seem like, after the hip, young hotshot, gets off his sexy girlfriend on the beach and back onto the aircraft carrier, somehow a bunch of stupid alien spacecraft show up and literally start to play Battleship with the Navy, because, why not?

Let’s see what we get with this trailer:
– The ocean is vast and alien spacecraft hide in its depths.
– Everything is really, really blue and orange.
– A team has to check it out.
– The hot, young hotshot doesn’t follow advice and touches the stupid machine and things shoot out and start smashing all the buildings. People everywhere look slowly over their shoulders.
– A bunch of shit blows up. Everywhere.

On the plus side, at least there appears to be more in this trailer than just playing Battleship. Not much more, but more. Also, Skarsgard is still the best thing about this dumb movie and I can barely believe I’d entertain going to this movie just to see him…

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