“Hooker, you done pissed off another vampire and then you took a goddamn nap” – Lafayette.

That is the line that started off this episode for me, because Lafayette is awesome and I need his sauciness back this season. Also I don’t trust Jesus. More on that later.

What actually started this episode is that dumbass Tommy getting his ass beaten by his stupid-ass hick parents. Seriously, what a fucking moron to go back to that stupid mother and did he really expect to not get surprised by Joe Lee? Oh, and he killed them.

"I dun kilt 'em!"

Marnie tells Tara, Lafayette and Jesus that the spirit returned and saved them; Tara and Lafayette don’t really believe that stupid shit.

Hooker, please!

Marnie is fucking stupid, she thinks this spirit that came to her saved them. Not that it/she has, you know, a grudge against vampires…oh no. The three run off, because this stupid bitch is off her rocker, and Lafayette has some killer lines this episode. Thank god!

Arlene is still hilariously freaking out over shit. Someone wrote ‘NOT YOUR BABY’ on the wall and it was either the baby or a ghost, or that doll. I’m going with that stupid, creepy doll. They decide to call on a man of god to come and cleanse the house. Oh, that should work out good.

Eric has a bad dream. Well, it’s a bad dream for him because Godric tells him he is incapable of love and that he is bad and makes him drink Sookeh. It’s good for us (me) because I(we) get to see that man in his low, low stupid basketball shorts and no shirt. Bless Sweden. Admittedly, the vampire panting was a tad Twilight, but I don’t care because Skarsgård was involved.

Bless Sweden

Eric creeps upstairs, fangs a drawn and scares Sookie. Then he asks to stay with her because he’s scared of his bad dream. Would you kick this out of bed? No…the answer is no.

Dear...baby...Jebus!

Jessica and Hoyt bring Jason home and Hoyt can tell that something is wrong with her, but since she glamoured his shame away…he doesn’t know what that is.

Portia comes to Bill and says that a lot of cities and things have repealed anti-incest laws. Eww. And then he glamours her into feeling terror and to run screaming from him when she sees him. So she does and it is funny. Poor Beel!

Pam goes to Beel to ask to torture the witch. He says, “The authoratah, the authoratah, blah blah authoratah!” Shut up about that stupid authority. Honestly, Pam has reason, because the witch/spirit made her face look this:

Fuuuuuuuck!

Ooh! Damn, Pam threw out the ‘c’ word. Yipes!

Jesus and Lafayette are going to run off to Mexico to see Jesus’ grand-daddy. Oh, this should work out. I don’t trust Jesus and after his little flashback where his grandfather bought him a goat, finally, and then made him kill, like it’s blood and “take it’s spirit”, I trust him even more. Oh, and he wants that power back. Lafayette’s hair is funny.

Tommy is an idiot and makes Sam help him get rid of their parents. Later, Andy, hopped up on ‘V’, pulls them over and acts like a dick. Tommy, covered in blood and hiding in the back, shifts into a gator. They also dump their parents into that stupid swamp. Sam also tells Tommy that he killed two people. Look, I know he’s your brother, but he’s proven time and again to be a fucking stupid idiot and chances are, he’s gonna sell your ass out the minute the heat comes down. Why the hell didn’t he just leave those two morons in their camp site? No one knew or cared they were there or were alive or dead.

Jason calls Hoyt Bubba.

“What do you mean, ‘you people’?” Lettie Mae, now the reverends wife, and the reverend come to play the tambourine and sing the spirit away from Terry and Arlene’s house. It’s funny.

"Devil done gone and run out the door!"

Sookie goes to the Witch Store to get a reading and hears her gran tells her not to fall for this new man and to run from this lady as she is dangerous. So she does!

Bill and his cronies kidnap Marnie and throw her into a cell. Then he questions her via an intercom. Then, he goes to glamour her and she doesn’t know anything. Oh, and Marnie gets possessed by the witch and she sees a vision of the woman’s past where some vampire priests ate one of her witch friends.

Tara eats all of Sookie’s ice cream and the Eric comes out. She gets all pissed and runs out. Great, now she knows where he is and is super-pissed. Crazy bitch. Eric is still hot. He also learns that he was a major dick before he lost his memory and he may come back to that later. Ooh!

Eep! There's a super-hot guy in your house!

Terry and Arlene think the cleansing worked as the baby is sleeping. Then, the matchbook on the mantle bursts into flame…great!

Jason dreams of Jessica and she keeps yelling Hoyt and then Jessica becomes Hoyt and yells Jason. It was a humorous bit of a scene. Oh, and the full moon is tomorrow. That happened earlier, but I just remembered it.

Eric tells Sookie that he couldn’t bear being the one to snuff out her light and leaves, but since she’s falling for him she goes after him, and they totally makeout. Seriously, Anna Paquin must have had the worst day of work ever this filming day. I know I would have slit my wrists rather than touch this dude. Yeah…uh-huh.

Beel and Pam are meeting with the rest of the sheriffs and Pam accidentally says that Eric’s memory was erased. Beel gets all, “HWAHT DO YOU KNOW! HWHERE IS HE?” and she says “He’s.at.Sookie’s,” Beel doesn’t care for that, and runs off. Oh, Pam…you done did it now!

And, that end credits song mix is fucking awesome! I want!

Advertisements