When you advertise your movie as, “From the Producers of Hostel and One of the Producers of Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, there’s a high probability that your film is stupid. Then again, the name of your movie is ‘Shark Night 3D’, so…

Basically the film is any movie with a serial killer or crazed psychopath on a killing spree (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, I Know What You Did…, etc.) blended with any SciFi Channel (the old SciFi channel, back when the movies weren’t intending to be stupid, the people actually thought they were serious films they were making) mixed with a dash of ‘Rogue’ and you have this ‘Shoot-by-numbers’ movie.

A group of kids goes to the other kids’ house; on the lake. Of course, one of the girls is super hot and one of the guys wants “to get with that” but unfortunately during a killer water skiing excursion a shark attacks one of the guys. Then a whole bunch of shit happens where these idiots keep going in the water.

My question is this: If you are on an island, why don’t you just stay on the island? Why do you keep going in the damn water? It’s not like in ‘Rogue’ where the island goes away with the rising waters. Stay on the damn island!

The description of the film alone is enough to make a person die from laughing: “A sexy summer weekend turns into a blood-soaked nightmare for a group of college students trapped on an island surrounded by voracious underwater predators in Shark Night 3D, a terrifying thrill ride from director David Ellis (The Final Destination, Snakes On a Plane), featuring a red-hot young cast including Sara Paxton (Superhero Movie, Last House on the Left), Dustin Milligan (“90210,” Slither), Chris Carmack (“The O.C.”), Joel David Moore (Avatar), Chris Zylka (The Amazing Spider Man) and Katharine McPhee (The House Bunny). Arriving by boat at her family’s Louisiana lake island cabin, Sara (Sara Paxton) and her friends quickly strip down to their swimsuits for a weekend of fun in the sun. But when star football player Malik (Sinqua Walls) stumbles from the salt-water lake with his arm torn off, the party mood quickly evaporates. Assuming the injury was caused by a freak wake-boarding accident, the group realizes they have to get Malik to a hospital on the other side of the lake, and fast. But as they set out in a tiny speedboat, the college friends discover the lake has been stocked with hundreds of massive, flesh-eating sharks! As they face one grisly death after another, Sara and the others struggle desperately to fend off the sharks, get help and stay alive long enough to reach the safety of dry land.

Yep.

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