Who else has been waiting for this trailer? I can’t be the only one, what with the internet being filled with losers like me who have some kind of weird attraction to television shows and films. The kind of attraction that makes you excited for trailer releases about a movie that doesn’t come out for 6 more months…anyway…here’s what is shown in this brand-spanking new trailer released just today:
Something is wrong with my TV!
- It’s a little disconcerting to hear someone stating, “You don’t understand. I was wrong. I was so wrong. I’m so sorry” over the production credits…wrong about what? I want to know!
Just gonna land on this planet. Nothing can go wrong here!
- Look they found a planet! I bet nothing bad will happen. Especially after the clip we just heard of the woman saying she was sorry.
Lovely vista. Let's land and then go for a ski on that mountain.
- They’re landing. The planet looks cold and foreboding. Again…nothing bad shall happen.
The fuck you need a flamethrower for?
- Hmmm…why would one need a flamethrower? Are they testing it? Everyone seems to be really relaxed and crap, so why blast that shit?
Headin' on out!
- Headin’ on out to the cave. Oh, good, we found a cave. Let’s go inside.
Look at the weird pods and giant head. That's normal.
There they are again! And someone looks confused.
- You know it’s a good sign when we see people come across some kind of giant statue of a head surrounded by weird pods. and judging by that girls face, she feels the same way.
Fassbender seems intrigued...
- Yeah, approach the pods.
This is why we don't poke at the pods.
- When we poke at the pods, something flies out and into, at least it appears to fly into, your mask and you get to scream. And scream you do.
Wait, wait, wait...what's this?
- The hell is that on the scanning table? It looks like some kind of alien head. It looks like the head of the space jockey which appeared briefly, dead, in the original Alien film. Iiiiinteresting.
Shiny red orbs!
- Shiny red orbs flying in the sky and someone bends down to looks at something on the ground. Something dead? Probably.
What'cha got there?
- It’s also a good idea to poke at whatever the hell it is you are pulling out of the canister. Although I do like the Fassbender, I fear he might be in for it with all the poking and prodding at something green, slimy and with what appears to be a spine. Awesome.
What are you running from, Charlize?
That looks intense.
- Things look bad here. You’ve got two guys screaming and firing at whatever is off screen to the right while three other people are in the lift behind them, one of which looks like shit.
She looks worried.
...and he looks even worse.
- Both those people look like they are quite frightened. That second guy looks in serious pain. Probably from poking at pods and egg sacks and shit.
That woman looks like she could use a shower...or a band-aid.
- Ummm…I’m not sure if I should be more worried that this woman is covered in blood and collapsing to the floor or that the people in the room as she’s collapsing seem to have no reaction other than, “Huh…” One guy is in a wheelchair and looks half-dead and the other two look blasé about the whole situation. Which is stranger?
Whoops!
- I bet that isn’t supposed to happen. Looks cool though.
Daddy Mack'll make you, JUMP JUMP!
- Things are looking hairy. Someone is really trying to get something working, or fixed, or something down there at the bottom while some dude, who looks seriously f’d in the head area, jumps on down on top of them.
Space Jockey seat...rise!
- What have we here? The Space Jockey seat-thing from Alien? and who is that over on the right? Is that a space jockey, or whatever the hell they are?
And now someone is flying away!
- Noomi Rapace (Shaw) looks like she’s getting the bad end of a dust storm.
It'll all fall.
- I don’t know what this thing is. Is it the thing in the sky that explodes? Or the thing that starts barreling over them in the end of the trailer? Or the thing the Space Jockey takes off in? What the hell is it?
So, there you have it. The teaser trailer for ‘Prometheus. I for one, can not wait until June to see what this is all about. And it better be rated ‘R’.
