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Yay! There is finally something to watch on TV this fall season. Sadly, it’s on FOX and it will probably be cancelled because it isn’t a crappy reality show, but I can enjoy it until that day comes. It has been a long time since FOX had a good sci-fi show on their network; I don’t count Fringe because I fell behind in the seasons and FOX gave up on it and put it on ‘Deathwatch Friday’.

To those of you who haven’t heard about ‘Almost Human’, let me tell you what this show is about. It’s ok if you’ve never heard about it because as FOX is FOX, they decided to push the premiere back several weeks, throw it on after football, which could have been disastrous for a show’s premiere as over-time bullshit tends to creep over into the 8 o’clock hour, it’s kind of what killed Futurama. The other reason is that it was on FOX. Anyway, I digress. What the hell is ‘Almost Human’ about?

Set 35 years from now in a future Los Angeles where human cops are paired with life-like android, Almost Human follows John Kennex, a human cop who is nearly fatally injured during a shootout where his android partner leaves him and a fellow human cop because he can better help others. Kennex is knocked out and when he awakens he is haunted by memories of his ex-girlfriend, which we see in a flashback and in a short video message that he has been saving for a long time, apparently she disappeared at some point. Kennex’s boss, played by Lily Taylor, finally cons him into coming back to work and he finds out that there was some kind of robbery that they need his help to solve. He gets paired with a certain android that is void of emotion and ends up pushing him out of the car, only to be paired with an android named Dorian. Dorian is a model of android that was dis-continued because it was had too much feeling. John learns something interesting during a procedure to try to remember the accident that leaves him realizing why someone special to him is no longer in his life, which sets up what I assume will be a series-long storyline.

I don’t want to tell all about what happens in the show because that’s no fun, but besides what I already mentioned I really appreciated that the android partner isn’t a sexy, beautiful, woman and is instead another man, albeit a good-looking one. I also appreciated that they didn’t, yet, blatantly throw automobile product placement down our throats. The vehicles are obviously Ford and Audi, among others, but their logos were covered and I appreciate that.

Being as I haven’t found one show this season that I’ve had to watch (close with Sleepy Hollow, which I am behind on) or wanted to watch, I would like to keep watching this. I love human-like robot series and movies, so this kind of hit the mark so far with me.

‘I, Frankenstein’

Oh good, it’s Underworld only with Frankensteins and gargoyles(?). Good to know the producers decided to branch out and take two other monster creatures and make them into ridiculous parodies. Will it spark a round of everything being gargoyles and Frankensteins? Will we soon have Gargoyle U? Frankenstein Academy? Patchwork Gigolo? He Who Burns the Monster? The orange and blue gods say, “GOOD LORD, I HOPE NOT!”

Also, Bill Nighy. Is he playing the same character as in Underworld? Because if he isn’t, someone should tell him he is generally awesome and sadly this is the same character as in Underworld.

All previous names for movie/TV show ideas are mine, Hollywood. I know they sound amazing and all, but MINE!

‘The Spectacular Now’

It’s refreshing to see a movie that isn’t stuffed full of giant, famous stars. Also, that girl is adorable.

“In a world where contrasting colors rule the planet. Where it started snowing and never stopped. Where Pandorum was ripped off and set in the Arctic wasteland that is the new Earth. Where the entire movie is shown in the trailer is brilliant blues, greens, reds and oranges…C-O-L-O-N-Y!”

If you note, this trailer says ‘This April’…we all know what that means. It never came out in April and was pushed back…you do the math.

‘The Num-8-ers Station’

Guns! Explosions! Num8ers!

Guns! Explosions! Num8ers!

I haven’t even watched the trailer yet, so let me guess what The Num-8-ers Station is all about based solely on the poster and the stupid name. John Cusack holds a gun up to his face. The gun appears to be held by tiny little dis-embodied hands as he peers around a corner with a look of annoyance at the explosion happening in the distance. Why are you so annoyed, tiny-handed Cusack? It’s clear that he means to shoot-to-kill that explosion! Malin Åkerman also stands by something, a tree maybe, with a look of boredom. Also, half her face has been too Photoshopped and she looks weird because of it. She clearly isn’t planning to shoot any explosions on account of her not having tiny hands holding her gun to her face. If you notice, there are also numbers, or num8ers, floating around the bottom left of the poster. What does this mean? Did the numbers cause the explosion? Are these the same entities that Cusack wants to shoot with his gun-laden tiny, dis-embodied hands? Is the tagline supposed to be all wobbly? Is that something that was done on purpose? Did the num8ers, or the explosion caused by the num8ers, cause the wobbly look of the lett8rs? Will we ever know why the num8ers caused the explosion that caused the code to be compromised? I suppose we’ll find out come April 26th when this marvel of cinematic artistry comes out in all it’s blue & orange glory!

Now I’ll actually watch the trailer and see how accurate I was about the num8ers causing explosions that tiny-handed Cusack must stop!

Yep, looks about as stupid as I thought. Although they did use not only the orange and blue but also the lesser used, but equally complimentary, color schemes of red and green! There’s no end to what the num8ers will go to get a list of men killed that will make the “world a different place when you wake up” if it goes out.

Damn num8ers!

I'M ALL TRIPPED OUT ON COLOR BARZZZZZ!

I’M ALL TRIPPED OUT ON COLOR BARZZZZZ!

This movie looks awesome, and I like that they don’t really tell you anything about it. But…I did read the synopsis, so apparently McAvoy plays a dude who helped steal some painting and then at some point gets hit on the head Chaz-style (Charles In Charge reference) and doesn’t remember who he is, yet he has to deal with the men who are looking for it, as they torture him. It looks trippy as hell and also pretty sweet.

The below trailer is kinda uckky in some places, so…just beware of that!

images

What do I say? I hate blue and orange and I dislike Tom Cruise in real life (sorry Tom, you’re kinda weird), but I do enjoy his movies. I actually think this looks really good, even if it turns out all I like is the cinematography, which might happen. I’m also a sucker for post-apocalyptic wastelands and whatever, so I’ll watch this, no doubt.

We basically all know the story that will play out in this movie: Aliens came and humans won, but they all evacuated and a man stays on Earth to clean it up while his lady-partner is in space. In time, they will finish their mission, leave and join the others in space or wherever they went until he meets other humans left on Earth who tell him the company he works for lied and it’s all a sham. Then he fights against them and his own demons and saves the planet. Also, Morgan Freeman is here.

Thank god they didn’t give it a cheesy sub-title after the 2. Like, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2: Spaghetti Bolognese, for example. Not surprisingly, this is the exact same movie as the last one, but now they are saving the world/big city. Whatever, I don’t care, did you check out that strawberry? Look at him!

BARF! I want to lick it!

BARF! I want to lick it!

So I will suffer the same movie and stuff for cute little vegetable animals and what-not. Also, I really quite enjoyed the first one.

Here’s the trailer to sniff out!

The flame is the 'i'...how clever!

The flame is the ‘i’…how clever!

It’s nice to see Lily Taylor in something again, too bad she’s going to be killed by that clapping ghost-thing she “conjured” up in the closet. Oh when will people learn to not go around playing Hide ‘n’ Seek in old farmhouses? You know what’s going to happen, you’re going to conjure up a clapping ghost and that bitch is going to clap in your ears so loudly that you’ll be deaf! Or she’ll push you down the stairs.

This movie was reportedly given “overwhelmingly positive reviews by test audiences” so in an act you rarely see it was moved from the doldrums of movieland (January) and pushed back to July (prime summer season), which either way you look at it isn’t really the time of year for a horror movie, but whatever! It also apparently stars other people besides Lily Taylor, so she either dies in the beginning, which appears based on the music to take place in the 70′s, or they don’t know how to edit the movie into the trailer without giving it all away. Which they kind of already did in this trailer. Not gonna lie, though, I was kind of freaked out by this. I don’t like things in closets or clapping.

‘Upside Down’ Trailer

Looks like an interesting flick. Not sure how it works with planets that close together, it would seem like they’d be fighting gravity or something. I don’t know. Unless they are both in alternate universes, but it doesn’t seem that way from the trailer. It’s also a bit orange and blue, which as I normally bitch about, I am tired of. Do more color correcting other than making shit blue and orange.

Otherwise, it looks like it was shot very well and might be visually interesting and original, if nothing else.

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